my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
you passed out when you kept trying to hold your breath during the underwater scenes of 2012
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
She uses my penis to point at the tv when we talk about the shows. I love her
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
You're wonderful. How are you always such a good friend?
50% genetics, 50% driven by a desire for people to drunkenly eat donuts at my funeral and then have fantastic cry-sex afterward.
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Thank god for Taco Bell keeping you out of jail
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
