I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
He told me he was a psychology major, and I responded by asking him where he hid his vagina.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
Ok I might come if this chair quits being so great...I'm also seeing this bush in the corner turn into a witch
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
He is a sex God. It lasted more than an hour, and I don't remember how many times I came. I lost count at 57.
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
Randomize
