I just made out with a guy for $7.
Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I don't care if he was in that porno. He looked like he knew what he was doing.
When you wake up so hungover that you don't even wanna cough for fear of vomiting... It's not gunna be a good day.
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
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