I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
you left a note on your car that said " please dont tow, im to drunk to drive. safety first!"
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
Dude just read our convo. Apparently I was talking to you while I was naked. She wasn't happy about it.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Me and this random chick had a conversation about how to save the world. 2 words: Dance. Battles. I love drunk heart to hearts in bar bathrooms.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize