i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
if i hear one more christmas song, i will fucking shoot myself.
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
You know how hard it is to drive a dirtbike down a road with 2 plants of weed on your lap. Fucking hard
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I'm eating cereal out of a cocktail shaker. That kind of blizzard.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
Preface: Im drunk. But i think id make a good assasin. That is all.
Casey, if you want the continuing love of our mother, you're gonna need to stop drunk texting her from PCB.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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