My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
so that wasnt chicken after all
I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
His little brother walked in on us. Six times.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
But if I live with you I'll help pay rent. Only if you promise no 50 shades of what the fuck internet hookups
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
