people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
Lab coat again saves the day - hiding embarrassing shart evidence...
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
Randomize
