do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
He told me the hickey on the side if his neck was actually a "bruise" from hitting a bird on his motorcycle. I'm not sure what's more impressive, the fact people believed him due to the size of the mark or the fact you gave it to him.
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
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