do you know how bad I want you right now?
As bad as i want you to stop texting me?
is that a hint?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
I'm watching Intervention to get pumped up for tonight
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
About to see some guy and give him a glance that tries to express how sorry i am for blowing his friend while he was getting a BJ in the same room
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
Dude my roommate just peed out the window
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