I hope mine doesn't look like that
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Ok so the guy below me is either having sex very loudly or is very lonely
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
You did what with his pubic hair?
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