I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
I just feel like Im gonna be remembered as that one RA guy that used to sell weed
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Drinking and pointing where stuff needs to go is hard stuff.
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
Randomize
