Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
We'll talk about this tommorrow when I'm not mistaking my fingers for French fries....
Theres either a bag of coke in my pocket or a bag of anthrax, either way last night got way to serious
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
Randomize
