I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
At one point during the moaning he reminded me of Forrest Gump
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Get this. Chipped my front tooth taking a sip of a gay mans beer out of my cleavage. Fuck my fucking life. that'll be fun to explain to my dentist
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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