You are the one person I know will appreciate this- and I'm aware that its nearly 5 am- but I have 3 words... G spot orgasm. BE JEALOUS
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
Even my vagina gasped.
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
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