You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Did you leave your blow razor here? I need it for crafts.
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
Randomize
