matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
do you think having her use a clorox disinfecting wipe on her vagina will keep me from getting her herpes if I don't have a condom?
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
WHY IS MY CAR MISSING A DOOR YOU BITCH
budget cuts
YOU CANT BLAME EVERYTHING YOU DO WHILE DRUNK ON BUDGET CUTS
budget cuts are serious business
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
All that stuff they told us in middle school about drugs being easy to find was a bullshit lie.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
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