i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I just masturbated mid-day, thinking of you
I think that is one of the most romantic things I have ever heard from a fuck buddy on v-day, there is a strong possibility that you will soon be my girlfriend.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Is there one of me peeing? If so do I look bangable in it
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
Randomize
