So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
And I mentioned the burning debate about your circumcision in my Christmas card to your mom.
Randomize
