I keep trying to leave, but for some reason I'm staying
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Dude sorry but it totally wasn't worth going back in there for yous shoes
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
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