We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
You just projectile vomited on my dad across the table at waffle house.
Do you think he can smell the vodka?
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
I've reached the gravitational age where it's very hard to get my face and my boobs in the same shot without some kind of yoga involved .
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
You set fire to his cat.
In my defense, I did not think it would be in the trash bag.
Woke up this morning with a plate of ravioli in my bed. Who says being single can't be fun?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
Randomize
