sometimes i look at this picture of your cock before i go to sleep, there's something comforting about it
she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Happiness was finding the hidden Gatorade in the fridge
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
