My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
She just shoved like three McNuggets in her mouth and started sobbing and I have no idea what's going on.
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
I'd be 10x more excited if going out didn't require pants or the general giving of fucks
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
