Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
it was like a zeppelin in a condom
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You used your chihuahua as a pillow screaming "HE'S A PILLOW AND A PET" and proceeded to puke in the dog bed
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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