I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
they say celebs die in threes. leave it to billy mays to throw in one extra COMPLETELY FREE!
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
The only thing I had in my freezer before today was patron and cheese.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
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