Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
Randomize
