turns out gay frats are just like normal frats, only with more v-necks
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
You have to start asking people if they're gay before you kiss them..
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
hooked up with him and then had a conversation with his ex about how we hate people who hook up with our exs...
Randomize
