The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
Food poisoning on first date... Still rode the mechanical bull like a champ
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Finding out you're not a mother on Mother's Day >>>
Did I try to sell your body for chicken tenders last night?
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
Randomize
