Got a toothbrush?
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
I'm getting very mixed reviews. One friend told me to stop drinking bc the last 3 times he's heard from me I've either peed my pants, been throwing up, or people have been having sex beside me.
Strangely enough I'm encouraging you to keep drinking for all the same reasons.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
I told him to pick up the beer can he threw in front of the police station. So he gets out chugs whatever's left and throws it back and says ok let's go.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
Vodka and Jamison is not a mixed drink
I'm thinking my boss switched to all cordless keyboards and mouses so that none of us would hang ourselves in the office.
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Now, I know I say this a lot, but you've obviously never seen my penis.
Randomize
