she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
I just googled if crying burns calories
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
