she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Should I tell Kevin that my finger was in his sister's ass last night?
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
you know the rule: 3 consecutive asian hookups makes you an asian fetish guy, no exceptions
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
First you stole a hockey stick out of the nieghbors yard and claimed you were moses leading his children home. Then you led us around the same block twice before I called the cab
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
