you turned your livingroom into a bong?
By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
if i actually bought condoms for every time i had sex, i could single handedly fix the economy
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
You were dancing around the clubbing yelling "best wingman ever" and raising your cast in the air
you had a pretty long talk with your shrooms in attempt to make them not give you a bad trip, it failed
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
So you get idea of what my night was like, I woke up this morning and the back of my head was orange
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
still not dressed at 5:00, jacking off watching men's figure skating and hoping my weird roommate doesn't walk in. anybody who says idk how to have fun is wrong
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
i ordered what the bartender said was called a pink cock, and kept saying it tastes like a disney princess. thats how my 21st bday went
Randomize
