I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
It was literally the size of a half eaten tic tac.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
So I just bought underwear that says "I'm taken." Just know that when I cheat on my bf with you, that's what I'm wearing
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
Randomize
