so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
i dont even know how to be here
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
No we are not "bros" because I came out of my moms vagina& you went in there.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My sunday was babysitting three big, drunk, crying Swedes. Unless your day involved four or more giant drunk swedes I don't want to hear about it.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize
