Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
Is there a zoo near here? I need to see some penguins like right now..
I am not bailing you of of jail
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I just explained my sex life to the "if you give a moose a muffin" book... Is that weird?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I just cut open the plastic package of a Plan B pill using the bottle opener I carry in my purse. #whyidrink
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
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