Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I must have drunkenly masturbated really loud last night, cause my roommate and his wife wont look at me
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Just puked most of my soul out..
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