I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
I don't want to be with anyone who doesn't accept me for who I am. eating cheeseburgers in bed is my favorite activity.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Randomize
