I seem to have left my pride at pride
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
There is sex in the air. Be careful where you walk.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
