he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
I woke up at 5am to tell him I wanted to take his dick on la Tour de France, I might need a nap later
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
