Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
he spit gasoline on a tiki torch to impress a girl. he caught on fire but did get laid. success.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
I like the one of me you and her but you're looking at me...Total foreshadowing right there. I'm cropping it
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
You're telling me you've never sent a picture of your cock to a girl and then were all like "Oops, sorry, wrong person! By the way...You like?"
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
Randomize
