So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So I just did the math and everything in this room except the computer and my clothes has been in my vagina
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
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