Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
Saw my boss's vagina at that party. Hung over at work has never been more acceptable
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
Also, what is a socially acceptable way to introduce a crossbow in public?
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
I was told that I need a reference for my blow job skills. Be expecting a phone call tomorrow.
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
Randomize
