maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I woke up with a solved rubics cube in my purse
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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