READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
I cannot FaceTime with your penis
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I was THIS CLOSE. But drunk me wanted to play those washboard abs with a spoon, like an actual washboard. Apparently that hurts, so I just squished it out at home alone.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
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