I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I'm sure he likes you too... but your boyfriend is kind of a cockblock
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