Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
I mean, it was a fun hookup and he's cute and whatnot, but he wouldn't go down on me. Plus he's a republican. Idk why but those things feel like they go hand in hand.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I let a drunk straight girl spank me with a metal paddle at the bar tonight. Remind me to never do that again.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
Randomize
