I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
i gained so much weight this year, i put on my string bikini underwear and couldnt see the string anymore! i hate my life.
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
i was drunk and our names rhymed...what was i supposed to do?
ok, my life is complete.... the cops AND the paramedic just made a Mean Girls reference...
and on the second day it was tequilla tuesday. and the lord saw it was good.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
This is classic penis vs brain.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
