never play flip cup with pint glasses
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
She is putting glow sticks from her bedroom to the bathroom. She is calling it 'Being prepared'. God help us all tonight...
Fairly certain I called dibs on your lesbian virginity last night
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Tell me not to drink and get on ladders. I think I need the reminder.. I'm clumsy enough sober.
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
Randomize
