if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He somehow managed to bang-mail me last night. I woke up this morning to a voicemail from 1:54 a.m. of moaning and screaming. I now know how talented he is and how annoying I am to have sex with.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
You rolled around on the floor, yelled about being a "half-zombie" and bit that guy on the leg who was hitting on me.
My breasts were aching with rage.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Randomize
