come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
I had to hold off a girl who was trying to check your pulse while you were passed out. She kept screaming that she was a nursing major and needed to make sure you were alive.
She's the barista slut.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
direct quote from andrew "you know i can't hear when i drink whiskey"
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
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