Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
After three games of beer pong ending in victory by death cup, all four of us bonded in the fact that we all slept with the girl's boyfriend at some point in time in the past year. She had no idea.
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
You could cut the tension with my nipples.
Randomize