I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im pretty sure i just saw someone trying to catch a fish with his penis
he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
I'm sneaking you alcohol into a hospital. This either says love or "we have a problem"
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
Wait does semen show up on blood tests?
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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