so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
Does anyone know who that girl who fell backwards and broke the shoe rack with her head was?
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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