Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
I love wearing low cut shirts cuz then when class gets boring, I can look down and admire my breasts.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
Plus you need some new dick in your life, the environment is fucked enough you don’t have to recycle anymore 😂💀
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