Umm I'm too high to move.
Any toy can be an adult toy. Location, location, location.
i'm pissing behind 7/11. if you guys leave... i'll think it's funny too
OMG MY MOM JUST ASKED IF I WAS GETTING PAP SMEAR TOMORROW VERY LOUDLY WHILE WE ARE STANDING IN A VERY PUBLIC LINE.
you know it is a bad morning when you forget to brush your teeth and eat old gas x in your car because its minty...
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
Really?!? Does he think blocking me on FACEBOOK means that he doesn't have a kid with me?!
You have my approval. I will dance and throw skittles at your funeral.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Im so fucked up I'm drinking baileys and coffee just to stay awake.
It's 6 in the afternoon?
Randomize
