all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Just got booked to do a bachelorette party for a polygamist wedding. And notice I only text you to rub things in your face and show you my life shits on yours. Daily.
like a dude with a badge in a golf cart is gunna do shit. Unless he has a tazer. Then it's fair game.
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
What part of I'm done do you not understand? Im not going to send you sex photos to prove I've moved on..
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
It was a great idea until we got stuck in a ditch. We had to call redneck cousin 1
I cannot be with a girl who won't let me come home on my lunch break, eat spicy ranch and watch Breaking Bad without pants on. #lesbianproblems
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
