Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
This chick at the gym, just informed me I was super funny this weekend. Especially when I untied her friends bikini top after throwing up in the women's restroom. SWEET black out chronicles has another story
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
First contact since we had sex and it's to get my HBO password. I sure pick winners huh
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
there is puke in my bra ... again
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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