Classy? Dude, she fucked 3 guys as part of a scavenger hunt
And?
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
I need a moral compass that doesn't always point to dick
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
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