I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
My vagina feels like it's been kissed by angels.
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hey, I was just wondering why i dont have a shirt on, why im cuddling with a furnace, why im in my own basement, and where my car is.
He did a backflip because drugs
Randomize
