just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
All semester I have been trying to figure out if this kid in front of me is gay. His cell phone just went off with Britney's "Circus". Case closed.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
you can now officially say a girl has shaved your initials into her pubes. welcome to the club.
With any luck I will spend the duration of this flight with my tray table up my seatbelt securely fastened and my face in his lap
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
I spent the money she owed me on enough magnum condoms to make a blimp. Damn right I'm going to make the best of it.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
and i thought it was paint or jizz but it was cheese
please tell me you didnt taste test that
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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