Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
well one of us has to be wrong and it's not going to be me
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
