Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
He asked me how france is treating me
Tell him you got so much dick you may never come back to the US. That ought to keep him away
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
Did she seriously come back inside just to piss on the kitchen floor?
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
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