Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
why did i wake up to an event notice that says "Shit Just Got Real"?
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
You disinfected one of his friends, buttered the jeans of the other one. And you poured every liquid you could reach on the floor, including cooking oil and green tea. It wasnt a great first impression
Just had to throw up on the floor of my car during traffic on the way to work. Car next to me saw both times. Found the downside to having a job right after graduation.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
