it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
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