are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I just bought six bottles of the 2 dollar vodka. oh yes there will be blood
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
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