to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
drunk me just left notes all around the apt to remind shitfaced me that i have mashed potatoes in the fridge. do not take them down if you come home before me.
I swear, if he gets me a bowling ball for Christmas, I will throw it at him.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
Shot gunning beers for breakfast. You better be ready for today.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
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