God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
Wow. I grabbed the wrong container to rinse my contacts- it was a beer. And it comes out waaaay faster than saline.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
Randomize
