so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
Randomize
