When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Please don't be alarmed by the blood on my arms and phone in the morning. It's not mine.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Randomize
