Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I'm making a date with someone on Playstation Home. That's how my sex life is going right now.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Randomize
